Terrier Girl ~╥╥☺

Ralph Lauren is the Devil

2009-06-24T20:45:00.005-04:00

Irradiated preppie garb grubber Ralph Lauren, born Ralph Lifshitz, is the Devil.

It is my blog mission to destroy all people who dress their pets in people clothes. Make the horror stop. And I'm talking to you, dude at the park who ties a bandana around your golden retriever's neck.

Here is Mr. Lifshitz' puppy line:

http://www.ralphlauren.com

Even worse is imagining the doggie modelling shoot. Ugh, I mentally throwing up.

I'm imagining a fey German Eurotrash photog ...

Come on, show us your bitch side, yeah, that's it, now pouty, pouty, pouty. Dat's da ting. Oh yeah, work it, work it, you little bitch.

Do dogs ever commit suicide? I think the two above are thinking about it.

Why?????????????

There's a dog, wearing a pink shirt with a horse on it. How humiliating is that?

Amuse Bouche and a Hate Crime

2009-06-18T10:54:00.004-04:00

I have to admit that I had some expert help setting up the blog – it helps to have two children in the house. We have been setting this up for about a month. I mess it up and my son fixes it. I have no idea why the weather is on my blog. That seems silly.

I have to admit that this software is easy to use. The only thing is that when you add a photo, it always puts it at the top instead of where you insert. Cut and paste then. Oh well.

I don't have much to write yet, but I wanted to have a second post. Ta da.

And because I love photos, here is a ...

HATE CRIME ...

For the love of God, make it stop.

Oh look, I'll bet someone made that horrible thing herself. Plus the colors are ugly.

Now it's time to watch The View and yell at the TV for a few minutes.

TG out.

TG and Canary Girl Gone WIld

2009-06-17T13:18:00.000-04:00

I thought about sending this to Dining@Large for Beach Week, but thought it would be better tucked away in my new little cubby hole here.

TG and Canary Girl Gone Wild

Such bummage a few summers ago, even Jesus (the pool boy) couldn't cheer me up with his puppet show. Then fab non-cat/non-dog friend and fellow newly-minted divorced chick Canary Girl gave a holler. We're going to Puerto Rico and get freaky. We are? So we did. Packed the pups off to my sister's and off we went like Thelma and Louise (with a happier ending.)

San Juan. No itinerary, just drive I said, varoooom. We stopped at a cute little inn on a remote beach. Buenos días high school español. Surprise! The old lady who ran the place only spoke French. How weird! Of course we spoke no French.

Señorita Frenchie brought us crepes with smoked meat (turkey? pork? kookaburra?) with strawberry jam as a late night snack and a carafe of red wine. This is not your mother's Puerto Rico.

In the morning Srta. Frenchie brought beautiful dark rich coffee(!), fresh croissants(?) and strawberry jam (natch) to our room. We ate on the red tiled patio facing the beach. Oh my God, what a delicious morning, I felt fresh and new in an unexpected way here on my secret Riviera. The morning sun washed me with golden rays that felt like new life. We were the only guests in Le Twilight Zone Inn. We decided to stay for another day (which turned into four) because it was so peaceful and odd. It just felt right. Ahhh...

We hit the beach for some rays. Not exactly my swinging moms gone wild cabana boy piña colada fantasy but good. Weird is good, right?

On day two a big sailboat dropped anchor off the beach. Two young men swam to shore. They said they were Algerian – Khaled and Charif. They were also dripping wet gorgeous. They invited us on board for dinner. This sounded insane, but Srta. Frenchie with chilled mint tea on a tray assured us with hand gestures and French that it was tres bon and we would be safe. So late in the day we swam out to the boat.

We sipped flinty white wine on ice and the Algerian boys grilled fresh conch on a hibachi. They stabbed and killed them and sliced them into slabs which flexed and wriggled when I touched them, like they were still alive. Charif put smooth stones on top to keep them from curling up on the grill. Khaled tossed them in a spicy sauce with hot pepper, mint, cumin and olive oil. Mmmm... We ate them with our fingers like well-kept savages filling our bellies after some bloody triumph, licking our fingers clean. Everything and I mean everything was delicious and that's all that Terrier Mom can tell here. At least for a few days she was just a very happy well-fed Terrier Girl again.

~╥╥☺